tears on the verge
just emerge
just emerge, dammit
I want to cry my soul to pieces
small shards and invisible bits
desperate for it to grow back stronger
lost and confused
emoting
and devoting
myself
to the reckless whims
of my passing fancies
chances taken
hearts broken
no, not figuratively
but literally
mine
and mine again
and still mine
hopelessly devoting myself
to the reckless whims
and the passing fancies
of a heart that just wants love
1. The storm that I believe had a lot to do with a horrible headache that I’ve had since waking up is finally breaking. At 10:00pm. Why, storm, why did you have to let me suffer all day?
2. ABC Family is crap.
3. Proud moment of the day: Bargaining with a craigslist seller to get a cash register they were selling for $125 for only $80 (and it’s worth $180 new!).
4. I’m going to be selling for Tres Hermanas at Green Lake. I’m a mixture of very excited and totally stressed out/somewhat overwhelmed by this.
5. Did I mention that I’ve had a headache all day? It’s pretty much been today’s theme.
6. I would like to relax on a beach for a week. Only, I’m not sure I remember how to fully relax. Eek. Blah. Argh. Eh.
7. Feel free to respond to these by number.
8. I made some seriously kick-boo-tay Life Coaching Business Cards. Want one? Send me your address. I am all about sharing the awesomeness.
9. Speaking of life coaching, the certification course I’m taking requires me to give two sample sessions to people I don’t know each week, so if you have a colleague, friend, family member, etc. who’d like a free life coaching session, definitely let me know!
10. I’ve been getting back into reading fiction books. As in, reading just for the pure joy and pleasure of escaping into the world of the imagination for a little while. It’s pretty nice.
11. I don’t want July to be over. I’d like to go back into the middle of June again, please and thanks.
12. I feel like the donkey in this story. I’m climbing out as fast as I can, but the dirt just keeps on coming and the top of the well seems realllllly far off and I can’t see reaching a serious resting point any time soon. (Okay, so maybe that’s not the best analogy because I’m not talking about giving up. I just want to find a better balance.)
13. I held my first devotional gathering on Sunday and am planning to continue holding them on a monthly basis. I’m calling them Art in Motion and Devotion gatherings, as they are art-focused (as well as filled with music and sharing and laughter). This past Sunday each of us shared quotes (both religious and secular) that we brought along that we found spiritually uplifting and that filled us with joy. And we fingerpainted. It was pretty awesome. Oh! We also did this.
NEW YORK, 28 July 2008 (BWNS) — Acts of arson targeting homes and vehicles are the latest violent tactics directed against the Baha’is of Iran.
“In the early hours of the morning of 18 July, the house of the Shaaker family in Kerman went up in flames, only weeks after their car had been torched and in the wake of a series of threatening phone calls,” said Bani Dugal, principal representative of the Baha’i International Community to the United Nations.
“As would be expected in the light of the mistreatment Baha’is in Iran are routinely receiving, the officials who investigated the fire either ignored or dismissed obvious signs of suspicious activity, including a muffled explosion, simply saying that it was the result of an electrical problem,” she said.
At least a dozen cases of arson that target Baha’is have been reported in Iran in the last 15 months, Ms. Dugal said. She gave the following examples:
– On 15 July at 1:15 a.m., Molotov cocktails were thrown into the front courtyard of the home of Khusraw Dehghani and his wife, Dr. Huma Agahi, in Vilashahr, only months after anonymous threats directly related to her being a Baha’i forced Dr. Agahi to close her clinic in nearby Najafabad where she had practiced medicine for 28 years.
– On 25 July, the car of a prominent Baha’i in Rafsanjan, in Kerman province, was torched and destroyed by arsonists on motorbikes. Soheil Naeimi, the owner of the car, and 10 other Baha’i families in the town had received threatening letters from a group calling itself the Anti-Baha’ism Movement of the Youth of Rafsanjan that, among other things, threatened jihad (holy war) against the Baha’is.
– On 10 June, an outbuilding on the property of the Mr. and Mrs. Mousavi, elderly Baha’is living in the village of Tangriz in Fars province, was destroyed by fire when it was doused with gasoline. The Mousavis, along with their two sons who were sleeping close to the building, narrowly escaped injury when the gasoline tank used to start the fire exploded. The Mousavis believe that the perpetrator thought they were all sleeping in the hut when he set the fire. Mr. Mousavi issued a formal complaint against the person they suspected, but the legal office has declined to pursue the case because the suspect swore on the Qur’an that he was not guilty. Out of respect for the Qur’an, the Mousavis have dropped the charges.
– On 4 April, the home of a Baha’i was set on fire in Babolsar, in the north of Iran.
– In February in Shiraz, a 53-year-old businessman was attacked on the street, chained to a tree, doused with gasoline, and assaulted by unknown persons who then attempted to throw lighted matches at him.
– Also in Shiraz in February, several arson attempts were made against vehicles and a home belonging to Baha’is.
– On 1 May 2007, arson destroyed the home of ‘Abdu’l-Baqi Rouhani in the village of Ivil, in Mazandaran.
– In Karaj, the burial section of a Baha’i cemetery was set on fire.
“These latest attacks follow the authorities’ attempts to deprive the Iranian Baha’i community of its leadership,” Ms. Dugal said, referring to the arrests in March and May this year of the seven members of Iran’s national Baha’i coordinating group, all of whom are still locked up in Evin Prison in Tehran without any charges and without access to an attorney or to their families.
“As Baha’is worldwide watch with alarm this escalation in violence,” she added, “their fears that a sinister plan of persecution is unfolding become increasingly confirmed. Their only hope is that enough voices of protests are raised around the world to compel the government in Iran to put an end to this violence.”
To view the photos and additional features click here:
http://news.bahai.org
I’ve been struggling a lot lately with feeling alone. Granted, I have lots of wonderful friends and family members, but still… I think that part of it has to do with so many friends pairing up and/or getting married and not being able to even remotely visualize this happening to me any time soon. (Lots of issues surrounding all of this.)
The other part, though, I believe has to do with starting a new business — multiple business endeavors all at once, really. Again, while I have support from lots of lovely people, when it comes to the day-to-day process of making decisions, spending money, and getting so very many things done, it’s almost 100% on my shoulders. And I’m exhausted; more tired overall than I’ve felt in a long time. When you sleep 11 hours one night and 9 the next and you’re still tired… it’s time to make some changes.
The only problem is, I can’t see any of this letting up any time soon. And, in the starting stages, it’s not like the money’s pouring in (quite the opposite, in fact), so that’s just one more proverbial straw. A heavy one. And it’s poking me.
Okay, I’m done for now. In the writing of this and in a conversation I just had (mid-paragraph) with my mom, I’m getting some ideas for balancing my schedule better so that I can hopefully, at the very least, be less exhausted and have some more time to spend with people. Face-to-face even! That should help. *fingers crossed*
I should probably do more of an official post on each of these, but I’ve been so busy getting things going lately that you’re just going to have to click and discover all the greatness on your own!
Exhibit A: Tres Hermanas
Exhibit B: Tres Hermanas Store
Exhibit C: Tres Hermanas Blog
Exhibit D: Katy’s Online Portfolio
Exhibit E: Anna’s Redesigned Music Site
Exhibit F: Katy’s Blog Post Asking for Opinions
Feedback? Appreciated!
“He does not feel that fear—for ourselves or for others—solves any problem, or enables us to better meet it if it ever does arise. We do not know what the future holds exactly, or how soon we may all pass through another ordeal worse than the last one.
“But what we do know is that all we can do as Bahá’ís is to teach and to exemplify the Faith. We cannot bear the burden of suffering of others, and we should not try to. All men are in God’s hands, and even if they do get killed we know there is another life beyond this than can hold great hope and happiness for the soul.
“No matter what happens, nothing is as important as our feeling of trust in God, our inner peacefulness and faith that all, in the end, in spite of the severity of the ordeals we may pass through, will come out as Bahá’u'lláh has promised.
“He urges you to put these dark thoughts from your mind, and remember that if God, the Creator of all men, can bear to see them suffer so, it is not for us to question His wisdom. He can compensate the innocent, in His own way, for the afflictions they bear.”
I really wish that I could find these old Disney movies, all of which were made for television:
I’ve decided that starting today I’m going to upload approximately 20 photos per day to flickr. It’s been about two-and-a-half months since I last uploaded any of my photos and I need something to get myself back into gear. (Especially considering the fact that these photos are from my time in Orlando, FL - back in mid-December of last year. There’s almost exactly 200 of them, so the next ten days will get me through those, at least.)
The biggest thing that’s been holding me back from doing this has been the immense about of time that it can take to not only process, but also title, caption and tag every single photo. So! I will be putting each of these photos up without titles and captions. They can stay that way OR you, the viewer, can submit a title and/or caption suggestion for any that you have an idea for. Funny, witty, serious - I’ll take ‘em all into consideration and then use my favorite ones. Depending on how things go, there just might be a prize for the person with the most titles used at the end of the ten days.
I’m not going to school in the Fall. Instead I’ll be continuing to build my skill set in a much more hands on way - by working! (I’ve also signed up for a one-year Total Training membership so that I can learn Flash and round out my skills on just about every program I use: Dreamweaver, PhotoShop, InDesign, Illustrator, etc. So far I’ve learned some very nice shortcuts and tricks I’d not known about before.)
I’m taking a course to become a certified Life Coach. I’ve had two of the classes already and so far I love it. I feel so much more complete and confident in the ‘career area’ now that I’ve chosen and am actively working in two different callings - one’s main focus being creativity and the other helping people. Yay!
The creative side of things is coming together under the heading of Tres Hermanas, a collaborative effort between myself and my super-talented sisters.While I still have lots of products to add to our store, it’s up and running and so far has Anna’s CD and some of my prints for sale. Items by Katy will be coming soon and we’re going to continuously be adding new artists and their wares as well. So, if you or anyone you know is an artist or musician with a message, let me know! (Seriously, people. Email me.)
I’ve written posts in my head time and time again over the past few weeks, but just haven’t been able to find the time to actually write them out. So, I’ve turned to twittering as a way to be able to update people (and remember some day for myself) the little adventures and thoughts that come up in the day.
Check it out here.